.Have you ever had one of those weeks when you feel like you have worked so freaking hard and accomplished nothing! Well its been one of those for me and I have to tell you I think it’s a direct result of my extremely self deprecating internal dialogue. I'm all smiles and laughs but you would never guess how extremely self critical I am on the inside! Do not get me wrong, I am a happy go lucky person and I don’t take myself too seriously most of the time! However, weeks like this I realize my Hamartia (one fatal flaw) I have absolutely no patience. I started taking this ADD drug, and like everything in life I expect fast results and yesterday! I know that it will take time to get it together and for the most part I’m seeing small but significant differences but it’s never enough!
Also, I’ve been literally busting my ass with this workout Insanity and again I am being a shit head about it! I don’t see the kind of results I want to see (YESTERDAY) and because of this (could be my distorted self perception) I start punching myself in my invisible gonads... I swear if I had a penis my inner voice castrated it lol. This symbolic violence begins whenever I do not see the results I want to, when I wanted so I get grumpy (I know what a BRAT! Right? lol). I have to give myself credit I NEVER GIVE UP! I keep trekking it; despite how awful I am to myself, I just keep walking! I think it is because I am so stubborn and I will not settle for anything less than what I want (but are you catching the problem)
In Greek literature the hero who does not realize his one fatal flaw usually dies! LMAO Therefore, it is my mission to work on my patience...and I’m going to be patient with myself until I am fully patient..ha ha ha! I will do all those fromagio things you see on TV: five things you are grateful for, five things you like about yourself, listen to “eye of the tiger in the shower” and probably even dance in my underwear at least once a week to “Express Yourself” by Madonna! I’m just freaking saying this shit works for the most part, if you are patient; unlike Sophia Mangov who sucks. Also, seriously sing opera in the shower, in gibberish! I swear this shit will make you laugh at yourself mad times (see how awesome I am with my lingo). Be careful because if you laugh too hard you might slip and fall **cough**. I’m sure my neighbours appreciate my vibrato. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE I gave a list on purpose, do at least one of these things and honestly you’ll be awesome! Like Barney from how I met your mother would preach, “instead of being sad just be AWESOME instead” :P kick it in the ass people kick the bad voices in the ass!!!
The moral of this story is, sometimes all you can do is half of what you can usually do...sometimes you need a little help to get where you are going... DONT BE STUBBORN AND DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT ASKING FOR HELP!! Trust me on this one, stubbornness gets you nowhere. Sometimes you need little outside push to get to the higher road or even a little hand holding to get you through the crazy stuff. Even if you did it with a little help it does not mean you deserve your accomplishment any less. It just means you were smart enough to find a way to get there. <3 So I leave you with a great song
....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH476CxJxfg
Make Wishes, Spin Around and Be Messy xoxo
Twistedbelle <3
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